Your Date Tonight Is With Pacino And DeNiro.

You're a single or divorced guy.  25-60.  You're miserable and lonely.  You want to meet somebody nice.  Maybe somebody attractive who wants your soul and body for some unexplainable reason. Your mother and well-intentioned female friends remind you to keep trying.  You're nice looking, smart and a good person.  While no part of this is even vaguely factual, who are you to argue?

So you go to bars.  Singles Events.  Author Readings.  You try Match.com and  eChemistry.  You try singles ski weekends and share houses at the shore.  Reality: you either meet nobody or worse, somebody too fat, too thin, too dumb, too smart or already dating somebody.  Worse, if you take a liking to somebody, they think you're too fat, too thin, too smart, too dumb.  They won't think you're already dating somebody.  They know you're not.

Try this instead.  Tonight, you are your own man.  You're not shaving.  You're not bathing.  You're putting on your oldest and moldiest tee shirt - the one you used to clean your own vomit around the toilet - and yet you still hang onto it.

Tonight, you will drink cheap beer and inhale junky snack food.  Peanut butter pretzels followed by Drakes' Yodels followed by M&M's washed down by YooHoo and Blatz Beer. Tonight, you stoke up a DVD you've seen at least 341 times.  Heat with Pacino and DeNiro.  The DVD costs maybe $10.  The food and beer another $20. So for a great time, with no pressure and no stress, you will save yourself at least fifty bucks.

By the end of the night, no, you will not have met somebody  But you did enjoy yourself.  You were able to burp, fart and better yet, not waste any time wondering if you looked okay to somebody.  (You knew you didn't anyway.)   

What you did do was watch a movie you love and felt so familiar with, it's like you personally know the characters.  That may sound psychologically bad, but there is nobody around to care, so why should you?  Better still, you have that nice guy feeling of being in control of a situation.  Of being good to yourself.  Any shrink would say that's got to be a good thing.

Eventually, you'll find somebody who will want to watch some of these great movies with you.  Stay open to it.  For now, though, you're going to enjoy your nights watching DeNiro have a tense cup of coffee with Pacino.  

To find lots of other great stay-at-home dates, 191Movies is a new website that lists movies you can be watch and enjoy a zillion times.  The site is not officially against dating,  romance or marriage.  (Not officially, anyway.) 191Movies simply thinks there are at least 191 movies that let a guy be who he is and be happy with who he is.  

If you like, think of 191Movies as match.com, only you get matched with a great movie to hang with for a night.  A great movie you will love to watch 10 days from now and even 10 years from now.  Hate to say it, but that's probably longer than most marriages last!